It Is the same everyday … They come and look through the holes in the bushes, peek their heads over the weeds in the field, and stare, and ask, “Why do you sit there, alone, in that garden all of the time?”
They ask the same question everyday.
Today, she calls to me from behind her steel bars, “God Damn, YOU Are Amazing!” And laying in this garden, I laugh myself in and out of dreams.
The world tells me I am beautiful, she is beautiful, it is beautiful, BUT, I know the truth. I have seen it, and nothing pleasant lives there. No one understands. No one wants me to love her, no one wants her to need me, and yet, we do.
So I push her away. Growing my flowers and building my moats and castles, I hide in this garden. I hide from them all. I tend to the weeds and the rocks, praying, begging for them to protect me.
Its funny, the pride I take in not having barriers built around my world. It’s funny because people are always offering them to me. They set them up somewhere between us or around us – and when they wake in the mourning to me burning or destroying them, they always get angry and leave. I laugh and go back to tending to the flowers and weeds and roses and rocks.
It is better this way.
They do not want me out there.
They only want lovers and romantics and saints.
They are selfish and jealous and mean.